Friday, August 31, 2012

Unbreak My Heart

I know this is going to make me sound completely mental - but I've recently discovered Doctor Who streaming on Netflix and I'm in the middle of a Doctor Who addiction.

Well, at least I was.

A Little History:
Once upon a time a little girl (me) with thick ugly glasses, shaggy unruly hair, and an obsession with books used to watch cartoons after school every day.  Then one day a Japanese cartoon called "Robotech" aired, which was in essence, a Japanese soap opera in space with English dubbed over.  I was addicted!  I watched this show religiously and then went to school and obsessed about it with my friends.

It was my very first TV/Book addiction, and I've had a few - but this one wrecked me, and I'll tell you why.  Because at the end of the first season of Robotech, the crew of the human "mother ship" sacrificed themselves in order to save the remainder of the humans from evil invading aliens and I sobbed, and sobbed, and sobbed FOR DAYS.  The one shining light of hope was the fact that the second in command of the ship, Lisa, had somehow been shoved into an escape pod by the captain just before it exploded.  Never mind the fact this was completely implausible (hey - it's a Sci-Fi cartoon soap opera!), but she was able to survive and live happily ever after with her fighter pilot boyfriend, and it was the only solace I took from the end of that first season (which I still dream about to this day).

I was 9.
I told no one in my family about my grief.  Not a soul.  They had no idea why I was in such a deep dark depression, and frankly, I'm not even sure they noticed.

In fact, when season 2 and 3 of Robotech aired, I hardly watched it - I was so unwilling to invest my heart and soul in a show that had pulled my heart strings right out of my chest.

Years passed - I moved on.

Skip Ahead Almost Thirty Years:

Me: fully recovered, watching Doctor Who.  No problem!  I haven't been obsessively heart broken over fake characters in almost three decades, I'm safe!  In fact, I even managed to survive my Harry Potter obsession without being emotionally scarred by having several secondary characters croak, and I even managed to muddle through a Game of Thrones obsession without breaking my heart, even after every last one of my favorite characters died (Thanks for that George RR Martin).

But Doctor Who...
Sci-Fi alien dude and side-kick chick travel the universe and time continuum on a world wind adventure.  There's self-sacrifice (usually by guest characters), and a budding romance between said alien, The Doctor, and his gal-pal, a 19 year old human named Rose.

They have lots of fun together!

In fact, they frolic through time and space and are so freaking adorable I start skimming episodes just so I can see them laugh together and have adventures.  It's only a TV show, but somehow I'm also going through Pinterest and watching fan-made videos of them on YouTube, and then I find out that the Rose character is written out of the show, and I'm like, "Wow, I wonder how the writers handle that?"  I'm a writer, after all, I've killed off characters before - I've written for TV, I GET it.  Actors leave, shows grow stale. It happens.  No biggie.

Skip ahead to me, watching an episode where not only is there self-sacrifice in order to protect the remaining human race from the invading aliens, but the girl and the guy don't even get each other as solace. And then it ends!

Me: bawling my eyeballs out, sobbing uncontrollably (Thank GOD my husband was out of town or he would have had me committed), and I AM HEART BROKEN BEYOND REPAIR.

Over a TV show, for God's sake!

This hasn't happened since I was 9!

I'm a grown woman with a wonderful life, and a great family and I'm destroyed over Rose and The Doctor not being able to be together.
It's ridiculous!

Skip ahead a few seasons of Doctor Who and the producers manage to give Rose a humanized clone of The Doctor in order to appease my ruptured heart, but it's not the same thing - they cheated.
They really, really did.  It's not him - I don't care if he does tell her he loves her!

Friends tell me that later on, Doctor Who is just as great, if not better.  There are more side-kicks, each wonderful for a whole bunch of other reasons, but my heart can't take it - like season 2 and 3 of Robotech I cannot emotionally invest in new characters.  They'll be taken from me too, I bet.  
Can't do. Just can't.

You can't make me.
((Plugs my ears and dances around in circles))
La, la, la, la, la, la, la!

I'm pitiful, pathetic, and sad.
Depressed even.
Over a freaking TV show.

I've been so clingy even my Vulcan husband noticed I was acting strange.

Ack - I'm getting emotional just writing about it now!
Pardon me while I go cry and order Tardis memorabilia off Etsy.

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