To Query, or not to Query...

I got a lovely form rejection today, so hence, I sent out a lovely new query to another agency.

**Sigh**

The good news is that "The Fiction Writer's Workshop" book I've been reading is awesome! I'm loving it.

I think I might write a page or two of my new book today.I'm a little on edge, and that's always good for writing.

Edit This!

I worked on the line-by-line edit today and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It seems I'm not grammatically challenged. Just forgetful.

One 'further' instead of 'farther,' quite a few missing commas, a typo or two, and one sentence with a dangling participle. That's it.

Not bad.

Now, if only I would get some responses to my queries.

Eureka!!

Got it. Came to me while I was washing my hands after coming home from taking my kids to karate lessons.

"Shut up"

Double meaning.

I love it.

Thanks for being a (silent) but helpful sounding board.

Titles, titles...Why do you taunt me, titles?

Why am I having such a hard time with this title?!

Here are a few more ideas:

"Doomed to Fail"

"A Waste of Air"

"Scream Out Loud"

"Leave Me Alone"

"Locked Inside"

"Ugly, Useless, Stupid"

What's in a Name?

The "like" (not love) affair I was having with my manuscript's title has ended. Again. We're on to title #4 or 5 now, I've lost track. And now I'm threatening to change it again. I'm really really curious if I'm stuck with it now because I've submitted query letters to a few agencies with the current title, and I wonder if I'm allowed to now submit it under a different name to all the other agencies I haven't queried yet. I won't go so far as to change the title and re-query the ones who already passed. I'm not that desperate (yet). Perhaps I should title it, "Insert Title Here."

Anyways, I know I have a minimal amount of readers, but if you would like to vote, here are the new titles I'm considering.

In no particular order:

"Running on Empty"

"Broken Crowns"

"Choking on Fumes"

"Just Breathe"

"The Pit Fall"

"Truth"

"Contrary Mary"

It doesn't matter what the book is about...I'd like to know, though, that if you were browsing the aisles of a book store, which title would peak your interest?

Derailed

My page by page clean up of the manuscript got derailed by vacuuming today. Such is the life of a stay at home mom. Sometimes, the excessive dog and cat hair take precedence over editing. It's a sad fact of life, and one that occasionally makes me feel like Cinderella. But if I don't do it my husband's allergies will flair up, and that makes him cranky, so nobody wants that. Besides, who else is there to vacuum?

Note to self: Must edit tomorrow and resist the urge to dust.

Normal Writer is an Oxymoron

From Josip Novakovich's "Fiction Writer's Workshop"

"...the more you enjoy writing, the more likely it is that you will persevere with it, and that you will publish it. And you are a writer as long as you are writing. There is no such thing as writer as a noun. It's a verb. I am a writer at the moment since I am writing these sentences. When I get away from the table, I will be a walker."

I had a wonderful writer's meeting yesterday. I am blessed with very intelligent friends! Not only did some logical notes get said about my manuscript, but they are notes that are easily fixed...and selfishly speaking, I like those kind. Now, the only thing left to do, is wait a few days. I'm going to wait until Monday, then I will sit down with my notes and my manuscript and go note by note, and see when and how I can fix the issues that need to be fixed, and which ones are worth taking if they are only subjective. I need to wait a few days for the emotional response to the notes to die down a little. This book is so deeply personal I find it hard to be objective.

At the same time I am continuing to read "Fiction Writer's Workshop" because it helps me to realize, in a technical aspect, exactly what kind of writing I did! This is the problem with being trained to write for the theatre, and not literature. Despite being very much aware of all the Greek tragedies and knowing Shakespeare in and out, and all the basic terms like "foreshadowing" and proper dialogue punctuation, I wasn't even aware that the ending I had written was called an "open ending" - or that there are specific reasons it is used in literature, and that there are other very successful examples of this kind of ending. It's all in the book, and thank god for that because I don't think it's normal to be standing in the middle of Barnes and Nobles crying because you had used a very complicated type of conclusion only on instinct, and to find it in a text book was such a relief it brought you to tears.

Not normal!!

But that's not really news. Is it?

Emotional Notes

A wise woman said to me yesterday, "Don't mistake someone's emotional response to your work as a note."

Wow. If a reader is frustrated with the main character because the character is acting in a frustrating way, isn't that what you wanted to do, as an author? Wasn't the intention to get the reader to FEEL something?

Whenever I watch Michael in "The Office" I physically FEEL humiliated, embarrassed and mortified by and for him. Sometimes, I actually look away from the screen, or bury my face in my hands. Other times, I laugh, because, what other response is there?! Yet, I love this show. Love it!

Yes, Mary (the heroine in my book) is young, and naive, and passive and is not in control of her own life. I can see wholeheartedly why that is so frustrating. But, that's my point!!

In Kate Chopin's "The Awakening" Edna destroys her life. Destroys it! She destroys her marriage, her children, her friendships, her reputation...everything! All this in an attempt to find an autonomy that did not exist for women of that time period! All this destruction while she fantasizes about a young man whom she thinks she's fallen in love with, and when she is so ruined even HE won't have anything to with her, she swims out to the middle of the ocean and drowns. Stupid woman!! Stupid, stupid, woman!! It's my favorite book of all time.

The real question is, do you like her enough to keep reading?

Or him?

When Frank McCourt was starving to death in Ireland because he was so poor, a circumstance completely out of his control because of his age and location, you, the reader, keep reading because you want to see how he gets out of that mess.

Same thing here, with Mary.

One reader said, after reading my book, "I just couldn't put it down, because I couldn't see how she was going to get through it."

Do not confuse emotional responses as notes.

Sometimes, whether the reader knows it or not, it's a validation of everything you tried to accomplish.

The Anti-Ending

Taken from Josip Novakovich's "Fiction Writer's Workshop"

"Both in the novel and the short story, once you reach the resolution, exit quickly. You might make one victory circle, like a skater with a medal on her neck, to part from the readers with a graceful exhibition, but this is not necessary. Or, if your story cannot reach a resolution, exit once this has become clear."

"Many writers object to a neat ending because it seems contrary to ordinary experience, which keeps going after an event is "over," and in which the repercussions of the event are seen in new experiences. Not even the death of one person ends the experience of others, and as long as you have at least two characters in a story, you might need to account for how the survivors keep thinking, feeling, experiencing. If you agree with this outlook, you might choose an open ending. Exit a piece of fiction while the action is ongoing. Much is said about beginning in medias res, but you can also exit in the middle of things.

...So you have a character change, resulting from insights. But the major source of the suspense, whether the character will be freed or executed [for example], remains open, unresolved.

...Some endings will be completely open, without answering any of the raised questions - which indirectly could point to the unanswerability of the questions...Many absolutely open endings are actually anti-endings."

Give Them What They Want?

Great Writers Meeting today. Thank you very much for the awesome notes! Now, I am off to stew in my own brain for a few days while I contemplate them all.

The one that stuck in my head during the drive home was something like, "I just wanted the main character to do [this]!"

And, the question I kept thinking was, do I have to give it to the reader? I know the reader WANTS to be satisfied, and have a certain flaw in the main character addressed by that main character, but, as an author, do I have to give it to them? The character has an arc, a complete one, but there are certain aspects of her personality that are huge flaws, and by the end of the book she has not overcome them all. Some. But not all.

This one particular writer gave me outstanding instances in the manuscript where the main character could stand up for herself (the major personality flaw in question), but she never does. The main character is depressed, has no self esteem what-so-ever, and is on the verge of doing something completely irrational, and finally, someone recognizes this and steps in to save her from herself and all that is happening to her. But, she doesn't save herself and this is what the other writer objected to.

Perhaps he is right. I can understand why he was frustrated with the main character, she is a victim in mind and in actuality. But, my question is, do I have to have her save herself in order to sell this book? Do I have to satisfy my reader in this way? Or, can I point out in the book, that sometimes it takes someone else telling you that you are a worthy person for you to believe it? Life does not have a completely satisfying ending.

Does my book have to?

Smile

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking.
When there are clouds in the sky
you'll get by.

If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through
For you.

Light up your face with gladness,
Hide every trace of sadness.
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile-
If you just smile.

Writers Meeting

You know who you are and you know where you are supposed to be. Thank you in advance for those of you who took the time out of your busy lives to read my manuscript. I am always looking for readers!

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Did I mention how blessed I am with such good friends?

Thanks for putting up with me.

WANTED

WANTED: LITERARY BOOK AGENT

QUALIFICATIONS:

1) A Literary Book Agent willing to allow me to submit my full manuscript for consideration.

2) An agent who is willing to read said manuscript.

3) An agent who is willing to give notes on my manuscript, and not just send my own query letter back with a stamp that says "No Thanks" in the corner.

4) A Literary Book Agent who will give advice on how to market, and sell my book, and one who possesses the knowledge of which publisher is looking for a book of my type.

5) An agent who is signing me, as a client, and would be positively insulted if I did not allow them first look at my second book.

Tall order?

Only time will tell.

Send applications for this position to lorianne@sbcglobal.net

No vampires or zombies need apply.

The Perfect Speed-Walk Playlist

In this order:

1) 4 Minutes - Madonna/Timberlake

2) Savior - Rise Against

3) Map of the Problematique - Muse

4) Just Dance - Lady GaGa

5) Kids - MGMT

6) Mercy - Duffy

7) Panic Switch - Silverspun Pickups

8) Le Disko - Shiny Toy Guns

9) Poker Face - Lady GaGa

10) Starlight - Muse

11) Supermassive Black Hole - Muse

12) Big Wheel - Tori Amos

13) Human Behavior - Bjork

14) Telephone - Lady GaGa/Beyonce

15) Can't Get You Out of My Head - Minogue

16) Uprising - Muse

17) Disturbia - Rhianna

18) That's Not My Name - The Ting Tings

Walk to the beat. It's an hour fifteen minutes long. I'm up to forty five minutes before I'm ready to quit.

Happy walking!

I Hate Waiting

The writers meeting scheduled for today had to be postponed due to my 6 y/o having a migraine (it's a chronic thing caused by varied food allergies - chocolate bunnies are to blame this time around - and she may or may not outgrow them). I apologize for cancelling at the last minute. Believe me, I'd prefer to be doing ANYTHING else than waiting hand and food on a difficult, moody and nauseous first grader, but these things cannot always be avoided...Apparently, rationing out pieces of chocolate bunnies just delays the inevitable.

Very disappointed.

I'll call to reschedule.

"Stay on Target! Stay on Target! It's away!"

The blasted shower strikes again. I went for my walk, listening to varied pumped up beats to get my legs moving, and upon my return home and my shower, my head went back to my new outline. I was already writing it in my head.

Focus. I must focus! Advice to myself: You can't start the new book yet! You must sell this one first! You must wait! If you get started on the new one, when the time comes to start the agency (and hopefully, eventually, the editorial) changes, you will be wrapped up in some other character's head and it won't help you! It will only confuse your poor over-strained mind.
Focus!!

So, I fought myself this morning and wrote a very nice query letter. I'm back up to my quota of letters, though, so I am going to have to stop that process until I get a few more responses back.

In the meantime, I think I will have to find other ways to occupy my brain, because Facebook is a super massive black hole of wasted time, TV only makes me want to eat, I can't shop anymore because that's a very dangerous slippery slope, and my knees can't take more than one forty-five minute walk a day...All this makes me stare at my computer longingly. Maybe I'll just write one scene?

Blog! That's it. I'll blog.
Okay. That's done.
Now what?

It's Query Time Again...Yippee?

Yippee. Joy. Rapture. Time to write letters to agents asking them if they'd like to read my book. I spent an hour researching a particular agency, found an agent within that agency that represented my kind of books, and then spent a good half hour writing the actual email only to get an auto response back that she was on maternity leave until July, and oh, by the way, the last name on the website is out of date too.

Great way to make a first impression. Here's an email all about me and I have her friggin last name wrong! Might as well flush that email down the crapper. Duh!

Oh well, it's only an hour out of my life. I wasted twice as much time today on Facebook.
Aye karamba, is it cocktail hour yet?

I need a shot of joy.

P.S. A big highty-ho thank you to the agency who had the wherewithal to ask for the whole manuscript. Thank you! I am encouraged.

Double Dipping

I got two rejections from the same agency, off of only one submission. That has to count for something!

Not only did this agency send me back my self-addressed stamped envelope empty, which I took to mean ("We don't even have time to reject you with a photo-copy of a reject letter." -- thank you very much, I say), but I also got an email letting me know more specifically that they weren't interested in reading my manuscript.

Thanks, ever so much! I just love rejection, twice, from the same people. It means so much to be rejected by you multiple times. Really. It does. It shows me how you would treat me if you were actually willing to represent me. So thanks.

But no thanks.

Buffy Killed Edward

Alright, Hubby was working late last night, so I rented "New Moon." Though, I don't feel it's as horrid as the first movie, I still fail to see what he (Edward) sees in her (Bella). No idea. Honestly. She's skinny and sulky. Wow. If I were 109 years old, I'd be all over that too. Not really.

Also, just my other two cents, don't go see "Death at a Funeral" with Chris Rock unless you plan on seeing also the original, with the same title "Death at a Funeral" made in the UK. I haven't seen the new one, but I'd bet my left kidney the UK version is better.

And just because: you all need to read the lyrics from Rhianna's "Disturbia." I'd print them here but that proved to be harder than it sounds.

Also, got 4, count them, 4 (!!) letters from agents who don't even want to bother reading my whole manuscript. I'm fairly certain I'll get a clean sweep of No's back by the time we return from Spring Break. Oh well, back to the letter writing.